What God Has Been Teaching Me, part 1

I was downstairs in the dark rocking the baby.  And by rocking I don't mean sitting in a chair rocking back and forth.  What I really mean is pacing.  I was pacing the baby.  He doesn't like it when I sit down.  Bummer.  So I was rocking him again.  It was the 3rd or 4th time he'd woken up from his afternoon nap that day.  It was the 3rd or 4th time I'd rocked, errr...paced him, that nap.  It was just a repeat of the events of the morning but there was something different this time.

My attitude.  I should clarify.  My attitude, aka my heart, hadn't really changed.  It was just being exposed this time.  And it was ugly. 

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Let me go back even farther.  As new parents of Caleb, we became very schedule oriented.  We fed on a schedule, slept on a schedule, played on a schedule.  He followed our lead nicely.  We patted ourselves on the back proudly, though it was very clearly God who allowed such efforts to work.  When we added Elliott to the mix, scheduling remained helpful and beneficial but he wasn't doing it by the book like Caleb did.   It was then that I received some of the wisest parenting counsel I had ever been given.  My friend Jill told me, "Angie, when you are making decisions regarding how to care for the new baby, remember that you need to decide based on what will serve the entire family, not just the baby."  Her advice and care was foundational for me and helped us to think more clearly as we made various parenting decisions.  This meant feeding little, underweight Elliott in the middle of the night until he was 11 months instead of letting him cry for hours so that we could all be more rested.  This meant letting Elliott fuss during the day so I could train Caleb.  It really helped us to think that way.  

Fast forward a bit and add another baby boy to the family.  What a blessing Gabe has been to our family.  He is sweet.  He is a flirt.  He is content.  He is long and fat.  He is sensitive.  He has a crazy swirl in his hair that results in one tuft sticking up all the time.  He has some crazy gas issues that make him endlessly burpy.  He has Long QT.  God has used this precious little boy to change me.  I cannot believe the good works He has accomplished in my heart through the events of this little (big!) guy's birth.  But he is not through.  He is still working.  I have a looooonnnggggggg way to go.  

This little mini series is just going to be about some of the things he's teaching me through being a mother to three precious boys, one of whom has a heart condition.  

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So back downstairs I was pacing with Gabe.  I was frustrated that he couldn't stay asleep.  I was sad that I was frustrated.  I was annoyed that I couldn't get anything else done.  I was discontent with the lot God had given me for that day.  I was angry that I couldn't let Gabe just cry it out (per doctors orders!).  I felt a lot of things all at once, not many of which honored the Lord.  But He was kind.  He gently started to speak to me and helped me listen.  This quote sums up what God has been teaching me:

"The person who would do great things well must practice daily on little ones; and she who would have the assistance of the Almighty in important acts, must be daily and hourly accustomed to consult His will in the minor affairs of life."  -Emily Judson (wife of America's first foreign missionary, Adoniram Judson)

stay tuned....