Birthday Countdown--4 days

3.  He Covers Me With Favor

The details of Gabe's birth are exciting to me!  I had always wanted to experience going into labor on my own.  I wanted the excitement of waking up in labor, rushing to the hospital in the middle of the night, and delivering the baby while the world was unaware, still sleeping.  I wanted a good story.  But I always end up being induced.  It's so weird, being induced; you pick when your baby will be born.  And then you go there and you "get the baby out" as we would describe it to our boys.  And an induction was looming on the horizon with Gabe. 

I was hopeful throughout my pregnancy that Gabe's story would be different.  But as my due date approached I became increasingly saddened by the sober facts.  I wanted the story, the excitement, but it looked unlikely.  Baby kept measuring big and I was plagued by paralyzing sciatica.  Ben was convinced I needed to schedule the induction for Saturday but I was convinced that a baby shower of a dear friend was more important.  After many discussions, I followed Ben's leadership and called to schedule the induction for Saturday morning.

In my quiet times that week I was struck by these verses in Psalms:
Psalm 3:3--"But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."
Psalm 5:11-12--"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield."
For some reason I meditated on those verses all week.  I recall making the connection that the shield about me was God's favor.  What an incredible truth to take me into the next few days. 

On Friday morning, the day before the scheduled induction, I got a crazy idea that I knew Ben would not likely go for.  Before asking him about it I prayed, "God, would you just give us unity here so that this is not a battle."  I then asked Ben if he would consider it a possibility for me to try to induce labor naturally on Friday night by taking castor oil.  We had differing opinions on this method right before Elliott was born so I was expecting a hearty, "No!"  Much to my surprise and delight he gave a resounding, "That sounds like a great idea to me, honey.  Let's try that!"  Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayer.  What favor!

Friday evening after he got home from work, I drank some castor oil and reported, "If this works, it is SO worth it!  Drinking that stuff is way better than having a pitocin drip!"  I started to feel lousy off and on for the next few hours but nothing to write home about.  By 9 o'clock absolutely nothing was happening.  I felt completely normal.  And I was completely devastated that I was going to be induced in 12 short hours.  I went to bed a bit sad but still excited knowing that no matter what I was going to meet my baby the next day!  I fell asleep quickly.  At exactly 1am, I shot out of bed with the worst stomach pain thinking I had to go to the bathroom.  At 1:06 I woke Ben by telling him I'd been awake for 6 minutes and had 3 contractions.  We left for the hospital shortly thereafter.  I was giddy with excitement all the way there about the favor God was bestowing on me.  Things progressed picture perfectly.  And by 5:26am, my sweet baby Gabe was born.  Not kidding-4 hours, 26 minutes from start to finish!  So incredible!  You won't even believe how kind God was to me in all of this:  not only did He give me a very fun story, He also ordained for my doctor to be on call (1 of 6 in the practice) and He ordained for the same delightful nurse who helped deliver Elliott to help deliver me again (how likely is that?  I deliver at a very large hospital!!!) 

I remember recalling these verses to Ben as we relaxed the next afternoon between visitors saying, "Surely He has covered me with favor as with a shield.  Ben, isn't it just so amazing how He lifted my head?  I was so bummed about having to be induced and He lifted my head." 

It wasn't long after as we were rejoicing with friends that our nurse for the day came in to  check Gabe's vitals.  She left quietly but returned only 15 minutes later.  She reported, "I got a weird number when I took Gabe's pulse before so I just want to check it again."  After her checking and rechecking and having another nurse check, it became obvious that something was happening with our perfect, sleeping baby.  His pulse had dropped from 110 to 95 to 80 in the span of 20 minutes.  They decided to admit him to the NICU for tests.  And by the following morning after many questions, ekgs, echocardiograms, and other tests, Gabe was diagnosed with Long QT Syndrome, an electrical disorder of the heart characterized by fainting and eventual sudden death. 

What sadness we incurred during that week in the NICU.  Our little hospital room suddenly became empty without the baby in it. Our baby, who appeared perfectly healthy, was lying in a bed hooked up to beeping monitors to record every beat of his heart.   As I lay on the bed crying, I cried out for the Lord's help, recounted His goodness in all of this, and begged for strength.  Simultaneously I received a text from my most dear friend saying, "He is still a shield about you, friend."  And that He was and ever will be. 

Look at the additional ways He was covering us with favor as with a shield:

• In His perfect kindness and wisdom, Gabe's heartrate slowed WHILE we were still in the hospital.  Slow heartrate is not a normal indication of this disease.  Isn't it just so kind that God would make us aware to a condition he has just 12 hours after birth?  You must know that this syndrome often goes undetected until the person is experiencing fainting or sudden death (and in males that is often not until they are adolescents.)  We look back and see how God was protecting our baby by letting us know so early so we could help him.  What favor! 
• In His perfect kindness and wisdom, He has lead us to doctors who we feel very confident in and blessed by their particular care for us and our baby.  What a blessing to be able to call our pediatric electrophysiologist on his cell phone on Saturday afternoon the first time the baby has a fever so he can instruct me with what to do.  What favor!
• In His perfect kindness and wisdom, He made that dreadful week in the NICU one of the sweetest weeks of our entire marriage.  There is no way that happens apart from His good favor, His covering, His shield!  I think back to those days that I got to spend with Ben so very fondly.  We were never more for each other.  We were never more in love.  We were able to love each other through good times and bad.  The circumstances were grim.  But God covered us with favor!
• In His perfect kindness and wisdom, He has given us oodles and oodles of time just holding and loving this precious gift.  Gabe's medicine caused him a lot of gastrointestinal distress until we got the dosage right.  That meant we were up walking and rocking him for hours EVERY night for MANY months of his life.  Though that time was insanely draining and hard, and though at times I sinfully grumbled about my lack of sleep, much of the time I was overwhelmed with gratefulness that God would give me this extra time with my sweet boy.  Sometimes I had to tell myself, "You are so blessed to get to spend this time with your boy.  You don't know how much time you'll have with him!"  What favor!
• In His perfect kindness and wisdom, He made Gabe an excellent napper.  Early in his life I worried what would happen since I couldn't let Gabe "cry it out."  I pictured myself as the little old lady in "I'll Love You Forever" rocking her grown son.  And one week after being completely frustrated that Gabe wouldn't fall asleep while I was rocking him I just put him down.  He never cried, never fussed, just went to sleep.  And has continued to do so almost every time!  God was covering me with favor! 
• In His perfect kindness and wisdom,when the stomach flu went through our house TWICE this winter, God protected Gabe from getting it both times.  It isn't preferable for him to throw up or have diarrhea since then he loses his medicine.  Can you see how God was shielding us?  What favor!
• In His perfect kindness and wisdom, we had some pharmaceutical mix ups in Gabe's first few months.  Though a pharmacy filled the prescription incorrectly unbeknownst to us, God protected Gabe and kept him completely safe.  And as He shielded Gabe from any ill effects, He also showed us the need to carefully monitor these prescriptions for the future.  As further evidence of His kindness, this mix-up caused us look for a different pharmacy to fill the prescription.  Though it is a rare drug that Gabe is on and no pharmacies around us were able to fill it originally, the pharmacy around the corner from our house was suddenly able to!  What favor! 
• In His perfect kindness and wisdom, Gabe thinks his medicine is candy.  He seriously gets excited to take it.  What kindness that our baby loves to take the medicine (4 times a day) that helps keep his little heart beating correctly.  And isn't it kind of God to help Gabe stay asleep each morning when we go in at 5am to give him his medicine?   I am seriously so grateful that though we have to give him meds at that early hour that my day doesn't have to fully start then!   What favor! 

I could seriously go on all day!  He covered us favor through praying friends,by providing an extra mother's helper, by giving an extra week off for my mom so she could take care of the boys while we were in the NICU, with a young lady from our care group who has become a most dear friend as her schedule allowed her to visit, help me, and care for me when my other friends were busy with their own families, and by giving our boys hearts to pray for their brother.  Surely He has covered us!  Truly He has given us favor!  He has been a shield, the lifter of our heads!  Please don't read this thinking we never get sad or stuck in ruts.  We are people, ya know!  But God continues to lift our heads.

Finally, this post would be incomplete without making clear that this favor isn't because we are good people.  It's not because we deserve it.  It's not because God owes it to us.  No.  Our sin makes us deserving of Hell.  But in the biggest display of His favor He has given us life through His Son.

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.



(Romans 5:8-11 ESV)
 
Because Christ died for me, I have favor with God.  How humbling it is to look at Gabe and experience even more of God's favor.